Halloween may be all about jump scares and haunted houses, but let’s be honest, nothing spooks B2B marketers more than disappearing budgets, vanishing organic reach, and analytics dashboards that suddenly go “boo!” So in the spirit of keeping things light, we’ve rounded up a collection of dad jokes tailor-made for the brave B2B marketing souls running campaigns, managing martech stacks, and trying to explain attribution to anyone who will listen.
Think of this as your seasonal break from AI disruption, dark-social mystery, and always changing buyer behavior. Grab some candy, take a breather, and enjoy a few groan-worthy laughs that only a fellow B2B marketer could appreciate.
25 Terribly Terrifying B2B Marketing Jokes for Halloween
What is a ghost’s favorite business model?
Boo-to-Boo.
Why did the vampire get fired from the SDR team?
He refused to work with cold leads. He only wanted the warm-blooded ones.
Why are spiders the best at digital marketing?
They are natural web developers.
Why was the mummy promoted to Head of Product Marketing?
He really knew how to keep upcoming features under wraps.
Why did the zombie go to the networking event?
He wanted to pick everyone’s brains.
What do you call a monster made entirely of disconnected software tools?
The Franken-stack.
Why are ghosts terrible at closing deals?
Because right after the demo, they ghost you.
What is a witch’s favorite CRM feature?
Spell-check.
Why does Dracula love looking at Google Analytics?
He’s obsessed with the Count.
Why couldn’t the Invisible Man get a meeting with the decision-maker?
He had zero visibility in the market.
What’s the scariest metric for a SaaS company on Halloween?
The Grim Churn-er.
Why do bats make terrible project managers?
They prefer to just wing it.
Why did the B2B marketer break up with the haunted house?
Too many pain points and not enough value props.
What monster is absolutely terrifying to agency owners?
The Scope Creep.
Why is a cemetery the best place for outbound prospecting?
It’s full of cold leads.
Why did the black cat get a job in social media?
He was an expert at creating meow-mentum.
Why was the skeleton terrible at ABM?
He had no body in his ICP.
Why did the marketing automation platform get haunted?
Too many ghost MQLs.
Why did the SEO manager scream?
The sitemap… had dead links.
What did the ghost say after reviewing the quarterly report?
“These numbers are spookily accurate. Are you sure AI generated them?”
Why don’t werewolves trust their brand agency?
Too much howling about revisions.
What’s a martech stack’s worst nightmare?
A surprise integration… with no API.
Why did the haunted house see such strong pipeline growth?
Every visitor got automatically enrolled in a fear-based nurture sequence.
Why did the AI content generator get kicked out of the costume contest?
Every time someone said “boo,” it produced a 2,000-word explainer.
Why did the demon CMO insist on using influencers?
Because possession is nine-tenths of brand lift.
What do B2B marketers and haunted houses have in common?
Both know the real scares happen when someone says:
“We need this campaign by EOD.”
B2B Doesn’t Have to Be Scary
Sure, today’s version of B2B marketing can feel a little haunted, with third-party data vanishing into thin air, organic reach fading like a ghost, and entire audiences disappearing into dark social. But it doesn’t have to be a full-on horror movie. With the right tools, the right insights, and a strategy built on trust and visibility, B2B marketing is a lot less spooky than it seems.
If you’re looking for a few friendly guides through the haunted house of B2B, here are some resources worth exploring:
Our new research report: Answer Engine – The State of B2B Thought Leadership in 2026
Fresh data on how top performers get nearly 4x higher ROI through research-driven, multi-channel content.
The Beyond B2B Marketing Podcast
Conversations with leaders like Brian Solis, Ann Handley, Jon Miller, and Ty Heath, which is perfect for anyone trying to make sense of AI disruption, shifting buyer behavior, and the future of B2B marketing.
Talk to the Best B2B Marketing Agency we know!
Our system for helping brands show up with credibility, creativity, and measurable impact everywhere their customers look.
Because at the end of the day, B2B marketing isn’t scary when you’ve got the answers and a few good dad jokes-on your side.
